Dagger of The Mind

It took me a long time to realize that my understanding of eternity in relation to time was subtly off the mark in a way that negatively impacted the process of spiritual transformation. I think many of us fall into this trap also, an idea that runs in the mind like a broken CD, quietly in the background so that we don't notice it. The enemy is expert at tampering with our thoughts in this way, but the Holy Spirit imbues us with the gift of discernment that only comes with a deep prayer life.

For a lot of my life, in fact, I saw the next life as a journey into an eternal future that would leave this life behind in the mists of the past. In the kingdom of heaven, this life with all it's sins would eventually be forgotten and recede into the oblivion of a billion years past. Along with this came the notion that this life is not really important, as long as I somehow could enter the gates of heaven. Of course I had to give some kind of heed to the need to live a virtuous life however that may be done, but it tended to shift the responsibility always to the future. In my case as I was really intent on following the Lord so it was a very near future, tomorrow or maybe in a year I will have progressed in this area of cooperation with the Divine Will. It's not that unrelated to the one who has no concern for God, but knowing deep down that it is essential, thinks that he or she will worry about that when they are old and facing death.

Yet how mistaken this thinking is. What the Lord revealed to me is that the importance of this life is far far more profound. It is a drop of eternity in "time" that will be forever present and visible from heaven. For those who are in glory, somehow the wounds of sin have been glorified and taken up into the wounds of Jesus, so that the vision of this life is no longer a source of anguish but a source of eternal praise and thanksgiving for having been rescued. The level of thanksgiving for the Divine Mercy will correspond to the wounds of the sin. Yes somehow this life will always be present, also for the souls lost to perdition, the vision of which will be their eternal despair. I desire that no-one, not even my greatest enemy could be lost in such a tragic way. This desire brings me great comfort because I understand that it is but pale reflection of the desire in God that all would come into His kingdom. It is for this that we were created.

Each action in this life has a consequent action in eternity. There is a "coupling" between this life and our eternity that is occurring in each present moment, so that it carves and molds out a corresponding habitation for us there, or moves us in the opposite direction. Like a see-saw with one side on earth and the other side stretching into the heavens, the smallest movement here carves out out a great arc in eternity, an infinite swathe of consequence. The Virgin at Fatima said to the three children there. "If you only knew what awaited you in eternity, you would do everything in your power to change your lives". In our brokenness and fear we could immediately think of Hell. Although the consequences move both ways I believe she meant primarily Heaven. Why? because it is what we are created for. In Medjugorje, the fulfillment of what was started at Fatima, she exclaimed that if we only knew what our mission was in this life, and how much she loves us we would cry tears of joy (paraphrased). There she beautifully reveals the invitation to heaven while also warning against Hell.

The present moment is so pivotal and key to the spiritual transformation that Satan will do anything to take us out of it, moving at the subtle level of our stage in the spiritual journey. God will always call us back to it. The temptation to worry about tomorrow or despair about yesterday is truly a "dagger of the mind" which we need to identify with the grace of the Holy Spirit. Without prayer we simply cannot "see" as God sees.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day", Matt 6:34.


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  1. I have been praying the rosary for priests and asking God through Mary to end the attacks on life in this present moment, that is abortion, euthanasia, same sex marriage and transgenderism. These things result in sterility and death by the hands of humans in these present moments. For the past couple of months I have sensed a coming severe attack on the Church and especially the priesthood. I pray for priest, living and deceased, moment by moment. God, please continue to help them and us. Diane

  2. As I read your blog discovered through Spirit Daily on a beautiful New England midwinter morning I feel as though you are describing my current plight. Amidst the joyful caroling of the cardinals near my bird feeder the broken CD runs loud and clear in my mind and the enemy uses it as a cudgel to thrash me on a regular basis. I have been on a journey seeking God (or more likely He chases us) for most of my life but began in earnest after 9/11/2001. Through many fits and starts and a few mystical experiences I have yet to sort out my true mission. Your writing has provided an impetus to seek spiritual direction. Thank you and may God Bless your ministry. Jim C.

  3. This post reminds me of Luisa Picaretta. It has a revelationary tone to it. It is so important that every human being ponder what you wrote today. To live in God’s will: Only His loved ones know the happiness. As I read your article, I thought: purgatory is regret. Also, I would like more assurance that, through our conversion and transformation, God will reverse the damage we have done through sin. If in heaven there is no sorrow, and we can see all our actions, then God must redeem them for his faithful, correct? My hope is that through my ongoing conversion and transformation, He will do this for those I have hurt, especially family. This would be true gratitude, joy and praise and glory. Do you have time to say more about this? Thank you.

    • Hi Kathleen. I would understand purgatory as regret yes, but also shot through with hope. The regret of separated lovers full of intense desire yet to be fulfilled. It’s true God will redeem all our actions. The glorified wound of Jesus are the pattern of this. Beautiful how God took the greatest evil and turned it around for the redemption of us all. St Dismas, the good thief is the first Saint, canonized by Jesus, if you will. His pattern of evil in life led him to that cross through which he entered paradise. You can sort of imagine how those he stole from who became Christians were later healed through his final yes to God and became thankful for his witness. Love covers a multitude of sins for sure.

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