In the Darkness – The Grain of Wheat
When recently listening in prayer, the Lord reminded me of a teaching he gave to me on the grain of wheat "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit". (Jn 12:24). There are many beautiful layers in this word. To allow God the pre-eminent place in our lives means we have also to "fall" like the grain of wheat. Falling...because for Him to increase, I must decrease (Jn 3:30). This requires a decisive act of faith, we must pray for that faith, because falling goes counter to our broken nature. Falling is something that newborn infants are instinctively afraid of.
We want to remain in control. Do we really have the faith to believe God will catch us? Blessed are those who can not see and yet believe. Yet God often provides through suffering, events which remove control from our midst. These trails are blessings which we will be so grateful for when we meet Him face to face.
After falling then, there can be a period of darkness as God refines us in the desert of our suffering. Beneath the soil, the grain of seed is disoriented and does not know which direction is upward. Yet in the midst of that darkness it receives nutrients from the surrounding soil, and water. It breaks open and sends a shoot out until it finds it's way to the light above the surface. So it is with us. In the midst of deep suffering and darkness, the waters of the Spirit are hovering over us and recreating us. Jesus is feeding us with the food for immortal life, and is guiding us to His light though we do not sensibly experience this. If you are in this place, persevere. In that you have allowed yourself to fall and given control to God, you will most certainly be guided towards the light.
Each human being is an unimaginable marvel, far more than a simple grain of wheat. Like a seed within each one of us is the "spiritual genetic material" which has all of the potential for us to become deified. To be the Saint that God designed us to be. To be the great plant which bears fruit 30, 60, or 100 fold (Mk 4:8). The greatest tragedy in life would be to come to the end and have remained only a seed.